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Chaotic Start

Guess which day got off to a chaotic start in the photo of my Bullet Journal above?


Days that start in chaotic fashion seem to stay that way. Today was one of those days.

I hadn’t planned the night before (usually a fatal mistake), woke up a little late (another fatal mistake) and had an early meeting.

After that, I hopped on Slack and never really got my feet under me. I would hop from unfinished task to unfinished task, usually leaving them that way.

Around 11AM I found myself wandering around the internet (still trying to access my blocked news sites after all this time). Thinking I’d benefit from a break, I whipped up some eggs and tried to refocus. But it was to no avail. I still couldn’t find direction for the day.

By 4PM I finally managed to, out of sheer force of will (not a good thing to rely on), clear out my email. That was my one big win of the day. Other than this post.

I’m not saying that it’s impossible to have a good day if doesn’t start that way. But I am saying it’s very, very hard.

There’s just something about the momentum created at the start of the day that’s so damn sticky. And it can go in either direction; chaotic or planned.

And the unfortunate thing is that it’s so, so easy to go the way of chaos. To have no plan and rely purely on willpower alone.

To submit to this chaotic start is to submit to a life filled with chaotic days. I don’t want a life filled with chaotic days. I want a life filled with days where I feel in control.

Not control in the suffocating sense. But control in the sense of being able to fit more creativity, love, adventure, clear thinking and presence into my life. This is the antithesis of chaotic days.

My chaotic days are filled with anxiety, ineffectiveness and inadequacy.

And with very clear evidence of how to prevent them, I should do just that.

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